Before you proceed with this blog, take a moment to look at the image of me below. I'll revisit it at the end.
Introduction:
"DRUG PEDDLER" - that's the label my late ex-MIL (RIP) bestowed upon me the first time she saw me. Her reasoning? I fit the stereotype: Goan boy, curly hair, shorts, and flip-flops. Little did she know that despite working in advertising for years on end, I had no involvement with any such recreational activities be it the trade or self-entertaining. It's been many years since this incident happened and today it makes me reflect on how our personal experiences shape our judgments of others. In this blog post, I wanted to delve into the topic of personal judgment and explore its impact on our perceptions.
The Subjectivity of Judgment:
Our judgments are inherently subjective, as illustrated by the diverse descriptions people assign to the same object or experience. In a classroom exercise, students described a single image using words like candle, light, fire, warmth, holy, lamp, prayer, etc. How could one image bring out so many different descriptions? Here is a better example, when reviewing a movie, individuals offer contrasting opinions based on their personal preferences, highlighting the subjectivity of judgment. Some people love the movie while some hate it. If you don't believe me, you can try this experiment yourself, individually ask the people who went with you to describe the movie, and watch how every person would give you a version based on their experience. Which begs the question, did not all of you witness the same movie. You still need to be convinced? look up the story of the three blind men and the elephant. We all interpret the world through our unique lenses, and this impacts how we perceive and evaluate others.
The Influence of External Opinions:
While we may believe that we form judgments independently but external opinions can sway our perspectives. Think about the last vacation spot you chose or the product you purchased based on recommendations. Would you go to a new restaurant if the majority of the reviews you read were bad? We often rely on popular opinions or the experiences of others to make decisions. However, blindly following the crowd can lead to unfavourable outcomes. Think of the person who smoked the first time because of peer pressure, the influence of their judgment purely came from the people around them. Historical examples, like the popularity of Hitler during his reign, demonstrate how people can be swayed by prevailing opinions without questioning their moral implications. Are you someone today who believes that your opinion is right just because it matches the opinion of the masses? Slavery, Child Labour, Racial Segregation, Sati are some of the examples that society once considered right and normal but not so much today.
The Filter of Collective Judgment:
In social settings, the power of collective judgment can significantly impact our perceptions of individuals. It's remarkable how a simple comment or negative impression shared within a group can swiftly transform someone's image. Take, for example, a group of friends who unanimously label a cheerful guy as a "creep" based on one individual's opinion. Suddenly, everyone starts scrutinizing isolated incidents, which were of no consequence, and collectively, they begin to feel uncomfortable around him.
Let me give you a similar but more relatable example, at a workplace. Imagine one employee expressing dissatisfaction with a co-worker's performance, accentuating perceived flaws and mistakes. Others within earshot overhear this negative opinion, and get influenced by it, they begin to view the co-worker through the same critical lens. This collective negativity, stemming from just one person's opinion, severely damages the colleague's professional reputation.
These shared perceptions essentially create a filter through which subsequent actions and interactions are viewed. Sadly, this filter tends to reinforce the initial collective judgment, often without giving the individual a fair chance to showcase their true capabilities.
Challenging Personal Judgment:
It’s important to recognize that personal judgment isn't always accurate or fair. Everyone has their own unique experiences and perspectives, which contribute to their judgments. Imagine you're driving in heavy traffic, and suddenly, someone cuts you off abruptly. Initially, this might trigger intense anger and frustration. However, if you later discover that the person who cut you off was rushing to the hospital due to a medical emergency, your feelings of anger may transform into empathy and understanding. This scenario highlights how our immediate judgments can shift drastically when we gain insight into the underlying circumstances. It emphasizes the importance of questioning our initial reactions and considering the broader context before passing judgment Imagine, you caught a child stealing a loaf of bread and judged him as a robber, what you do not know is the kid had not eaten for days. So are you right in your judgment? Is the kid's action justified because he is a victim of his circumstance? From the kid's perspective yes from your perspective probably no.
Understanding this, we should strive to challenge our own biases and be open to re-evaluating our initial impressions. By questioning our judgments, we allow room for growth, empathy, and a deeper understanding of others.
Deciphering Right from Wrong:
Who holds the correct perspective? How can we determine what's right? Is your viewpoint automatically correct because you strongly believe in it and it aligns with the beliefs of those around you? Consider a person fighting for freedom; they see it as their right, while those in positions of power might view it as terrorism. The question arises: How can we ascertain the correctness of our judgments? In truth, there may not be a definitive answer. However, it's crucial to maintain an open mind and acknowledge that a single situation can be seen from various angles. The determination of what's right or wrong often remains a subjective and ever-evolving process. Embracing this complexity, and remaining receptive to diverse perspectives, enables us to navigate a world marked by empathy, understanding, and the potential for finding common ground
Conclusion:
As human beings, we are prone to judging others based on our personal experiences. However, it's crucial to remember that our judgments are subjective and influenced by external factors. By embracing empathy, curiosity, and a willingness to challenge our own biases, we can foster a more inclusive and understanding society. So, the next time you catch yourself making snap judgments, take a moment to pause and consider the diverse stories and experiences that shape each individual's journey. What may look like a NO to you might look like a YES to someone else.
Remember, we do judge a book by its cover, but we have the power to turn its pages and discover the chapters within.
My Personal Take:
When you first saw my picture at the beginning of this blog, what went through your mind? Did you form an opinion? If you don't know me personally, perhaps you thought, "He seems like a smiling, cheerful guy." Or maybe you noticed my messy hair and wondered about it. Did you observe that one of my eyes appeared larger than the other and consequently formed a different impression of me?
You might assume that those who know me decently well would be aware of the reason. However, several months ago, someone I frequently hung out with jokingly commented on one of my social media images, asking why I looked like I was about to stab the cameraman. Surprisingly, that comment served as the inspiration for this piece. And though I had written this a while back, today while people are debating the change of name from India to Bharat, I finally decided to publish this.
Back to me, I initially wrote a lengthy scientific explanation about how both my eyes don't open the same amount and the reasons behind it. Just to let you know that on some days they appear normal, while on others, the difference is quite noticeable. The reason behind this isn't as important as the judgments it elicits. But if you do want to know I have had Bell's Palsy twice and never recovered from it fully. Over time, various people have approached me on days pointing out the difference but there are many who notice, and pass judgment but have never known the reason. There isn't much I can do to change the way I look on certain days and I definitely can't prevent people from forming their opinions.
So, the next time you perceive someone as looking at you strangely or assume they might be a drug peddler, consider taking a few moments to get to know the person at least a little more before passing judgment. You may still not end up liking the person, but chances are you'll have read a completely different book than what the cover suggested.
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