You would think that for someone who was called "selfish" by someone would actually find this easy to do, but this is one of the toughest things to do for me at least. Being a person who always looks for validation from people for everything I do to go to suddenly being appreciative of my own self is not easy at all.
I used to think (maybe I still do it) that adapting to other peoples moods and situations is the best way to be happy, what's the point of you wanting to go out when your partner wants to sit in the house do nothing but just relax, or when your friends want to go to a pub but you want to go for a movie, to me being with the person and the quality time spent with them is more important, it makes me happier than getting what I want to do. I could/can always adjust my wishes if it made everyone else happy only then would the experience would be more fun. Of course, at first I would always try to convince people to do what I wanted and if it did not work out I would try and find some other time to do what I wanted, it was/is that simple.
Now I am told that if you can't love yourself then there is no way that others would love you in return, which is basically saying I need to do the things that I want and not compromise on them to make me happy. While that probably makes sense but somewhere to me it feels like this is even more selfish than the way I was, but then again if I am not happy people would not want to be with me so I guess me first then.
After all the longest relationship I will ever have will be with myself.
So coming to a full circle I will now try and do things that I love doing, and hopefully in this maybe find the right people who also want to do the same thing and even if I can't find others who cares so long as I am happy.
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