BOMBAY CATHOLIC GOAN
OK this one is not fully original.. lifted off here and there and some more additions made..You know your a Bombay Catholic GOAN when...
You never say Mumbai.
You've been living in Bombay all your life, but you're actually from Goa or Mangalore.
The first thing you ask another catholic is "which parish men?"
Every sentence you say ends with "men".
"Men" is used irrespective of gender.
And most sentences you say begin with "cheh men"
You and your girlfriend are "friendly".
Women are "chicks" and men are "buggers".
It's okay if you skipped your best friend's birthday, but Sunday 9 o'clock mass, have to go men, to meet da chicks and da buggers.
Sunday is chicken curry day.
On a Saturday night, you want to go out for a "cupple-a-beers men"
You jive to hip-hop.
All the non-catholics think you knew to jive since you were born.
You'll skip the world cup final but not the Christmas dance.
You love going to the local "fete" to watch the parish king and queen contest.
You will play housie even though you may never win anything.
Christmas is not happy, it's merry.
Suits are black, dark blue and grey. Only.
Mazgaon is mazgon, Mahim is mayhim, borivali is brivli, bandra is banruh.
And you are a Mayhim boy or a Banruh girl.
You've never had a grandmother, you've always had a Nana. The same goes for Dada.
The old people in the family call you "puta".
You know at l east one person in Borivali I.C. colony and Orlem.
At a wedding when the M.C. yells "Masala" everyone gets up to dance..
You don't like Remo too much, but if a non-catholic doesn't like him, you'll kick his arse for it.
Vengaboys "Brazil" almost became part of the masala.. still plays sometimes..
Your Hindi is a little better than Michael Jackson's.
Your first tuitions were mainly for Hindi and Marathi
Portugal is your favourite European country.
You know 10 Savio's and 7 Seans. (shawns).
Every 5th catholic you know is either a D'souza or a Fernandes.
You definitely went to a school that had "St" at the start of its name, maybe even the college did.
You can't play cricket to save your life, but you rock at football.
Every 5th person knows to play a guitar or keyboard.
You claim you can't speak Konkani, but in reality, you can use it to win the Nobel Prize for literature.
You utter 9 F's per 3 words.
Bastard is baashturd.
And baashturd is always preceeded by bleddie.
And if the DJ doesn't play the "masala" he's a bleddie baashturd and u feel like jhaaping or clipping him.
Bastard is also basket.. bleddie basket...
Irritating person = swine.
When you disagree you say "balls".
"Your bum" is another frequently used exclamation.
Your freezer is filled with last years Sorpotel, which if u heat and eat with pao no, its damn tashty men.
You have food with your wine, not vice versa.
The wine you know is only "Port".. what the hell is "chardonnay"
Dry days are only at wine shops..
When you definitely have some relatives in the gulf..
Then you probably also know someone who is a shippii..
The first thing you ask another catholic is "which parish men?"
Every sentence you say ends with "men".
"Men" is used irrespective of gender.
And most sentences you say begin with "cheh men"
You and your girlfriend are "friendly".
Women are "chicks" and men are "buggers".
It's okay if you skipped your best friend's birthday, but Sunday 9 o'clock mass, have to go men, to meet da chicks and da buggers.
Sunday is chicken curry day.
On a Saturday night, you want to go out for a "cupple-a-beers men"
You jive to hip-hop.
All the non-catholics think you knew to jive since you were born.
You'll skip the world cup final but not the Christmas dance.
You love going to the local "fete" to watch the parish king and queen contest.
You will play housie even though you may never win anything.
Christmas is not happy, it's merry.
Suits are black, dark blue and grey. Only.
Mazgaon is mazgon, Mahim is mayhim, borivali is brivli, bandra is banruh.
And you are a Mayhim boy or a Banruh girl.
You've never had a grandmother, you've always had a Nana. The same goes for Dada.
The old people in the family call you "puta".
You know at l east one person in Borivali I.C. colony and Orlem.
At a wedding when the M.C. yells "Masala" everyone gets up to dance..
You don't like Remo too much, but if a non-catholic doesn't like him, you'll kick his arse for it.
Vengaboys "Brazil" almost became part of the masala.. still plays sometimes..
Your Hindi is a little better than Michael Jackson's.
Your first tuitions were mainly for Hindi and Marathi
Portugal is your favourite European country.
You know 10 Savio's and 7 Seans. (shawns).
Every 5th catholic you know is either a D'souza or a Fernandes.
You definitely went to a school that had "St" at the start of its name, maybe even the college did.
You can't play cricket to save your life, but you rock at football.
Every 5th person knows to play a guitar or keyboard.
You claim you can't speak Konkani, but in reality, you can use it to win the Nobel Prize for literature.
You utter 9 F's per 3 words.
Bastard is baashturd.
And baashturd is always preceeded by bleddie.
And if the DJ doesn't play the "masala" he's a bleddie baashturd and u feel like jhaaping or clipping him.
Bastard is also basket.. bleddie basket...
Irritating person = swine.
When you disagree you say "balls".
"Your bum" is another frequently used exclamation.
Your freezer is filled with last years Sorpotel, which if u heat and eat with pao no, its damn tashty men.
You have food with your wine, not vice versa.
The wine you know is only "Port".. what the hell is "chardonnay"
Dry days are only at wine shops..
When you definitely have some relatives in the gulf..
Then you probably also know someone who is a shippii..
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