Open Letter to Goa

Dear People of Goa,

Please do not make make Goa another Mumbai, look what happened to Bombay over the years, the rule to shut wine shops at 11 pm and restaurants at 1:30 only will increase your problems and not solve it. Let me give you the biggest example of what has happened to Bombay over the years..

This is what Mumbai had many years ago... A night life which included..

# The city was always awake. Not just fancy restaurants but street food anywhere at any time of the night.

# People would walk freely at anytime of the night without any fear (as there were people every where at any time thus making it safe)

# This led to less crime.

# No deadline to restaurant and party places meant people could decide themselves when they wanted to get home.

# This avoided all party people landing on the streets at the same time and causing traffic, noise etc.. besides most of the people not having had enough, cause they started only at 11pm.

# Oh we used to have tourists... yes we did...

I could go on and on about the past and if you check the news you know what the state of the city is that was once Bombay has now turned into....

Please do not let that happen to GOA...


Yours Truly,
A Goenkar

PS: People come to Goa to get away from their cites.. don't make this another metro!! 

BOMBAY CATHOLIC GOAN

BOMBAY CATHOLIC GOAN

OK this one is not fully original.. lifted off here and there and some more additions made..

You know your a Bombay Catholic GOAN when...

You never say Mumbai.

You've been living in Bombay all your life, but you're actually from Goa or Mangalore.
The first thing you ask another catholic is "which parish men?"

Every sentence you say ends with "men".

"Men" is used irrespective of gender.

And most sentences you say begin with "cheh men"

You and your girlfriend are "friendly".

Women are "chicks" and men are "buggers".

It's okay if you skipped your best friend's birthday, but Sunday 9 o'clock mass, have to go men, to meet da chicks and da buggers.

Sunday is chicken curry day.

On a Saturday night, you want to go out for a "cupple-a-beers men"

You jive to hip-hop. 

All the non-catholics think you knew to jive since you were born.

You'll skip the world cup final but not the Christmas dance.

You love going to the local "fete" to watch the parish king and queen contest.

You will play housie even though you may never win anything.

Christmas is not happy, it's merry.

Suits are black, dark blue and grey. Only.

Mazgaon is mazgon, Mahim is mayhim, borivali is brivli, bandra is banruh.

And you are a Mayhim boy or a Banruh girl.

You've never had a grandmother, you've always had a Nana. The same goes for Dada.
The old people in the family call you "puta".

You know at l east one person in Borivali I.C. colony and Orlem.

At a wedding when the M.C. yells "Masala" everyone gets up to dance..

You don't like Remo too much, but if a non-catholic doesn't like him, you'll kick his arse for it.

Vengaboys "Brazil" almost became part of the masala.. still plays sometimes..

Your Hindi is a little better than Michael Jackson's.

Your first tuitions were mainly for Hindi and Marathi

Portugal is your favourite European country.

You know 10 Savio's and 7 Seans. (shawns).

Every 5th catholic you know is either a D'souza or a Fernandes.

You definitely went to a school that had "St" at the start of its name, maybe even the college did.

You can't play cricket to save your life, but you rock at football.

Every 5th person knows to play a guitar or keyboard.

You claim you can't speak Konkani, but in reality, you can use it to win the Nobel Prize for literature.

You utter 9 F's per 3 words.

Bastard is baashturd.

And baashturd is always preceeded by bleddie. 

And if the DJ doesn't play the "masala" he's a bleddie baashturd and u feel like jhaaping or clipping him.

Bastard is also basket.. bleddie basket...

Irritating person = swine.

When you disagree you say "balls".

"Your bum" is another frequently used exclamation.

Your freezer is filled with last years Sorpotel, which if u heat and eat with pao no, its damn tashty men.

You have food with your wine, not vice versa.

The wine you know is only "Port".. what the hell is "chardonnay"

Dry days are only at wine shops..

When you definitely have some relatives in the gulf..

Then you probably also know someone who is a shippii..

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